So, i have been having a lot deeper and more frequent depressions. Its probably hormonal. Im not exercising like i used to. So thats part of it.. I cant get organized. I dont have my own space and that is deeply depressing. I just hate people that have the things i dont.. Not all people. Just the people that seem to have things come so easily. .
I thought things would have been better once everything was settled. I dont see a way into a stable financial future, which scares me. Im not sure i want to be in a relationship anymore which is making me feel unconfortable.
People are horrible. I am constantly listening to people make comments regarding my son. On line at the amusement park, my son was getting nuttier then the other kids and the people behind me were talking about what they would do if they have kids etc. So i called them out and said thats easy to say, but you dont pick yoir kids or the conditions they are born with. No matter what kind of consequences are implemented etc... (my son is adhd and not on meds for summer...and meds wear off anyway)
Then again today at the sprinkle park. My son was actually not really doing anything that bad. And im the first to correct it. But these really snobby and obviously wealthy helicoptering moms complained about me to each other. Cause i didnt keep interrupting the kids to ensure that they take turns. Like sometines you have to just let them play. As long as they are not hitting or bullying. I think they were upset cause my son kept running to the water guns first to squirt their kids. And then their kids were complaining its not fair. But their kids were also squirting with the water guns. They were just getting upset cause my son was faster. I almost called the group of mons a bunch of cows. But held back
I realized how much i hate dealing with other people. Their boundaries, their rules are different from mine and i cant stand having to deal. Especially where i live. These women focus on presentation and i have more of the dad personality. We had a play date where the kids were playing with water and the mom started freaking out cause it got on her cement OUTSIDE floor and a little into her cement garage that she just had landscaping clean.
And heres what annoys me. These cows. These women with uptight and nagging personalities all have homes and nice cars and husbands paying for it. Im guessing their husbands pay cause none of them have serious careers. I just hate where i live. And i am mad at myself for never being able to negotiate situations like that for myself. I end up being too nice with men.
