Met with IC today. I'm struggling. IC told me in all of her years of counseling couples she had never had a couple in which the two of them had not once spoken on the phone or in person regarding their separation/R.
As I left IC said to me "I think your W's best shot at being happy in an R was with you". On the one hand W projected all of her anger/resentment onto me so I embody that and yet now I was W's best chance at a happy marriage?
I'm sorry I'm here looking for support. I'm trying my best to stop thinking of W and detach from her, but yet she is off on a trip and I'm just spinning my tires so to speak. IC said my W desperately needs the trips as that is the only way she can shake free of any and all responsibility and run away from her life. Sorry folks it's like I married the most emotionally locked up woman whom I LOVE, I'm the "cancer" that she has extracted from her life as the IC puts it, but the real cancer continues within her as she is unhappy with herself oh AND I'm the best chance she has at being happy in an MR. So I'm her cancer and she's losing her "savior" at the same time.
I need to get my head sorted out. I'm like 4 months after we split and I am better, but God when will I finally and truly clear this woman from my head!??! To love her as I do, have her just walk away, not talk to me at all...IC says its clear she has not emotionally detached from me...I'm sorry to be rambling...just want this to end...
