just ugh... your angst surely comes through... and i am sorry about that... i am a former Wayward Wife who is piecing with my H, and we have been piecing a bit over 3 years after a very long physical separation... my advice to you is the same advice i give to any and all LBS... SERIOUSLY detach and GAL... by seriously, i mean you do it wholeheartedly... by wholeheartedly, i mean--no starts and stops and no doing it according to your H behavior... you do it with everything in you--for YOU... i believe this will give you the best chance to save your M...
most LBS cannot do it... it is very difficult... i see that most LBS eventually get around to doing it, but not until it's a bit too late... at that point, they are basically saving themselves... if you can do this in the early stages, i believe your chances of saving your M are greater... and if you do it without regard to how your H reacts--because he will likely react, will not like it, will try to guilt you--you will have a greater chance of him coming back... it will feel very wrong, like you are making things worse--but he has to come to a place where he sees he has lost you... you cannot fake it... you cannot do it until he starts to show signs of coming back, because he will back off just as soon as you think things are good again... and you will go through the cycle again and again--and that lessens the effect of detaching and GAL... he will come to see that it's all a game just to get him back... and you will weaken with each cycle...
