Thanks for the reference. Frankly, I find this site rather misleading. I have a lexicon that lists all of the uses of the word PORNEIA in the Greek New Testament, and none of these usages seem to cover "sexual refusal". Neither do the definitions in the standard Greek lexicons and dictionaries. The word PORNEIA is closely related to the word PORNEI, which means "prostitute", someone who is paid to have sex. I don't think someone who refuses to have sex is generally called a prostitute.
The article to which you refer says the following:
Quote: It seems to us that the word Porneia includes sexual refusal.
But the word PORNEIA is never used in this way in the New Testament, and the standard Greek lexicons do not give evidence of this kind of usage in other literature. Frankly, I find it very misleading for people to cite the Greek word and ignore what all the standard tools for Greek say about the word. It makes it sound like they are giving an authoritative answer that has to do with knowledge of Greek, and they clearly are not. What they really mean is that sexual faithfulness is not just avoiding sex outside of marriage, it is also having sex within marriage.
They go on to say:
Quote: Based on these things, we begin to understand why divorce for forced sexual abstinence would be allowed.
But "these things" includes an interpretation of a Greek word that the Greek language will not support, and they give no evidence that divorce was allowed for this reason in the early church, and they cite no scripture that supports their claim.
The 1 Corinthians 7 passage does not actually call refusal "sin", it says that it can lead to temptation. Here's the quote:
Quote: 1 Cor 7:3-5 Let the husband render to his wife the affection owed her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife doesn't have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise also the husband doesn't have authority over his own body, but the wife. Don't deprive one another, unless it is by consent for a season, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and may be together again, that Satan doesn't tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
In marriage, we are giving ourselves over to the needs of the other, including sexual needs. Personally, I have never found it helpful to demand from my wife that she pay me what she owes, but I do think that this is helpful instruction to a spouse to give him or herself to their partner, taking a concern for the sexual needs of the partner, and to be concerned about the temptation that may arise otherwise. But it also says that this temptation comes "because of your lack of self-control". Clearly the other spouse is still not innocent, is still required to practice self-control.
I agree that 1 Cor 7 is important, but it is a passage my wife needs to read, not one I particularly need to focus on. I can't demand it of her, and I think I'm already willing to fulfil this part of the bargain if she ever wants it ;->
Now I agree that marriage is intended to be a "one flesh" relationship, and that sex is an integral part of marriage as understood in the New Testament. The authors of this site might have made their case better by appealing to the basic New Testament definition of marriage:
Quote: Mar 10:6-9 But from the beginning of the creation, 'God made them male and female. For this cause a man will leave his father and mother, and will join to his wife, and the two will become one flesh,' so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."
This "one flesh" relationship clearly refers also to sex, especially when you compare this to 1 Cor 6:16:
Quote: 1 Cor 6:16 Or don't you know that he who is joined to a prostitute is one body? For, "The two," says he, "will become one flesh."
So a marriage without sex is clearly an anomoly, and sets the other spouse up for temptation. But to my knowledge, the New Testament never clearly says it is grounds for a divorce.
On the other hand, I do think we have to recognize that this kind of difficulty can easily lead marriages to break up, and be merciful to those who have divorced because of it.
