Can I really do this #4

[Dtrmned]

Thanks Davide,
It was a very emotional moment for me (even though it was at 5am!). Been on my mind all day today. And unfortunately has put me in my head as well. AS asked how long I can do this and I truly don't know. Do I need to push and ask the questions to my W? Do I just leave it alone and let it play out? I know any question will be seen as pursuit. Any action would be seen the same way. I would desire only to enjoy the last few weeks of summer together and find a way to bond and interact. I would also love to say that regardless of the outcome, I want my kids to have a better summer, but I would be just deluding myself. W is just shut off this week and it is really getting to me. Working more on the GAL and would love to take the kids out more, but with D under restriction, this kind of limits everything.

Cheeseless tunnel I know, but I wish I knew what my W was thinking. It has been a month since her proclamation to set a mediation appointment that of course never happened and this limbo thing is wearing on me.

Talked with my oldest sister who I am very close with during this (she helped me through the financial stuff as well). She agrees with me that my wife is an overall good person and is just greatly confused as to which way she wants to go. She also says that she would not have put up with this for so long and that I have the patience of a saint. I am not a martyr nor do I want to be a saint. I just want my W back and rebuild our MR and our family.