So let's separate out the various threads. There is the obvious and real hurt from OM3. Feel your feelings and then let them go to the best of your ability. This isn't easy.
Then there's the more troubling thread to me, which is that whether consciously or unconsciously she has the kids as a reason to keep you enabling her.
Only you can determine what you feel comfortable doing here. The faster she has to either take care of herself or fall on her face, the faster she will possibly get the help she obviously needs.
I would consider giving her a specific time frame for taking her car off your policy, say three months. That gives her enough time to plan. Then you'd have to absolutely follow through.
If she can't take care of the kids should she in fact have 50/50? Only you know what's right there.
I forget how old the kids are so I'm not sure how much longer you have to deal with her, but isn't your youngest 7 or so?
Protect yourself. That's how you can best protect your children. And no, your next GF won't be sleeping in her ex's bed, I think that's clear to all of us.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.
xoxoxoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
