There is a phase in this part of the process of grief which is down.
It is called the Kubler Ross cycle.
Please understand this is totally normal, there is nothing wrong with you. Let me reassure you that this cycle is part of the body and minds way of coping with loss. Some of us (I count V in this) get slight stuck in the depression. Others get stuck in anger. Know which I prefer, but it is as it is.
So please feel down all you want, in due course your body and mind will get fed up with it and it will change.
Cry it out, get it out there and hold on tight.
It's going to be ok. I internet promise it won't always be like this.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
