ww totally off rails

[OrangeK]

I agree with Steve and Vanilla here.
You need to put your foot down, in a mature, calm & collected way.

I would even go with something to the effect of
"I am not comfortable sharing a bedroom with someone who has no respect for the marital vows we spoke to eachother.
If you insist on spending time away from your children to be with another man, i will not share a bed or a living space with you. If you cannot respect that boundary, you need to find soemwhere else to live."

Move her stuff when she isnt around, put a lock on the door, and if she re-hashes the attempt to control, just repeat your boundary and say you will not budge on said boundary so long as she is committing adultery.

the single biggest regret i have in how i handled my sitch was that I responded with anger, and then spineless forgiveness when i found out my wife had been cheating for the past 7 months at the time.

I wish i had told her to get out of MBR, and moved her stuff into the garage, and taken the key to my apartment.

In the long run she only wanted to keep her stuff at our house so she didnt have to move her belongings, and could extend her period of not having to pay bills and whatnot. It also gave her a place to have sex with OM when i was working.
I would assume the same is happening at your house.

I can tell you that by doing nothing, you are actively participating killing your MR.