I would also add that everything I did in my sitch I did it with the thought of my 2 girls in the back of my mind. I had a soccer parent come up to me last night and she asked me about the D. Then she commented that she has never seen two people going through a D act the way we did towards each other. She would have had no idea that a D was happening. I agree some of it has to do with my EW however I could have took it completely off the rails and went ape $hit on her. I just chose not to
I say that to say this. Your S will never remember what it was like to have his mom and dad under one roof. The only thing your S will have is pictures. My oldest will remember some things, my youngest probably not.
Your W may never respect you but as your S gets older do you want him to see mommy and daddy getting along? Do you want him to be able to be in the same room with the both of you? Do you want him to feel comfortable around the both of you?
If you want all of those things then you are going to have to pave the way for him and that means taking the high road and potentially swallowing your pride when it comes to your EW along the way because I highly doubt she is going to be capable of it.
Everything I did in my sitch I did it for my girls and my goal was to make them feel comfortable talking and interacting with us both, at the same time, and in the same room.
I am not telling you to not stand your ground or waiver from your core beliefs but going tit for tat is not a recipe for success. IMO DBing is about taking the high road. Now that you are separated there are not many boundaries that you can enforce. IMO now it is all about how you react to certain situations and those reactions will tell her a lot about where you are at mentally.
I read the convo about the Driving.....as V says they have scrambled eggs for brains. My EW still calls me about things that she should know the answers to. She gets confused a lot as well which just tells me the mental state she is in. It sounds like your W is very similar and is probably focused on the wrong things.
Stand your ground, don't pay her bills, don't enable her, don't bend over backwards.......just don't come off as being angy, pissed off, and cold about it. Yes, no, thank you, or no response at all.
When you pull back and she doesn't get what she wants I guarantee you she is going to lash out more especially once she starts to feel you pull away. You really have to prepare yourself for when that time comes and it will test your entire being.
