I am okay with the alternate direction on the thread, I understand all of us are going thru h#ll and bring different perspectives based on what life has handed out to each one of us.

WAH has mediation arranged and it is going to happen, I feel I am supporting a D which I do not want but this is the necessary evil.
WAH is pleasant at home as he is getting the quick D he needs, no more anger or yelling. Talking thru the mediation and separating terms actually cleared out the air, bitter pill for me but he seems to see an end to the MR thru it.

I had a nanny come over to watch kids while I was at home, zeroing on someone to have them for extended periods since WAH is leaving home soon. D7 months cried seeing a new face obviously, so he took her and kept her himself and gave me a few acrimonious comments on how he can manage kids on his own on his days and I cannot (he wants them only a couple of days a week). Since I do not want to stay away from my babies this arrangement works.
I had to ask him about something in the house to which he said he will come HOME frequently even after he leaves and help me out. I kept quiet. Show by action what happens once you walk out of your own home, no point talking about it.
He tends to spend more time as family than in the past but I do not indulge or encourage this, I typically walk out if he tries to engage with kids and me. Is this okay?
He would flinch in the past if our hands touched while exchanging baby but yesterday he was leaning in on me to kiss D3.
Shows a lot of affection to kids and takes care of them while at home, but wants to get out of the house and see them only few days a week, i just do not understand this.

No sign of remorse, guilt, doubts or any wavering of the D decision, he is moving ahead with it at a steady pace.
My beliefs, my fight to keep the family intact for my Ds seems like a mirage at this time. I would so trade what I have for limbo.
My biggest challenge now to stay unemotional at the mediation meeting, I have mastered my temper, improved my detachment but the thought of how this ended when the children are so small makes me a teary mess. I do not want to cry in front of him anymore, it gives him the power of knowing how all this has broken me from the inside. Crying is not showing detachment, hoping God gives me the strength to get through this.