Can I really do this #4

[hongaku]

You can also use things like I understand that is how you feel... or I know this is hard to talk about, it is for me, too... and I respect your opinion and I see your point, however..., etc.

Do not get stuck using the same phrases every time, as it will come off as mechanical and disingenuous. Put some thought into your communication skills and be present, relaxed and calm enough in actual conversation to be natural with it and improvise effectively. Use agreement when you can as well, in tandem with validation (this does not mean you agree with everything she says wholesale, but it is very hard to continue arguing with someone when they are agreeing with you on something, so when used at the right times, it is a very effective disarming tool).