KyH, you are not a fool. No one has made a fool out of you. Of the three adults in this scenario, would you rather be the selfish W who destroyed her family, the slime bag OM who is participating in that relationship with her or the solid can-do guy who keeps caring and loving for his family and always putting his kids needs before his own, even when it breaks his heart? You are a hero in that scenario, don't doubt it.
One day when her head is clear, she will realize what all of us realize about you!
Don't doubt your own goodness just because someone else keeps shoveling poop on it. Your goodness is real and your concern for your kids is GOOD. I do many of those same things for my H when he is doing anything with the kids because I know otherwise they will get no care at all. It doesn't make us fools; it is a further proof that we are good parents -- and good spouses! -- and choose a path to put family first even when all we want to do is sink into bitterness and vengeance!
Hugs to you. I know exactly the horrible pit-of-stomach sick feeling you are feeling. It will get better, it will!
I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord with courage. Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
