Sorry but I need to vent. Boy do I feel stupid. I got a lesson on detachment today. This morning I got a text from x telling me she has been seeing someone and has introduced him to the kids. Something in me broke, I felt it in my stomach and my voice changed. I feel like a fool, I know I shouldnt be surprised but I am. How do I deal w her crap? I m fixing her car because its literally pumping oil out the ground and shes off w a guy. I do things like this to take care of my kids but it also keeps me in a place. If I didnt she would drive my kids to god knows where like that until it blew. Im also a month ahead on child support because she needed money, still paying her insurance, have had to put gas in her car, and have had to send groceries w her on her week so my kids have to enough or arent stranded on the middle of the road. If it was just her she could take the bus but Im having to take care of my kids through this. I feel very used and like a fool. Detach detach detach. She doesnt even deserve me as a xh but thats not how I feel. And shes sleeping in my bed when Im out of town. Ugh, why am I surprised? she slept w someone else and then slept w me in it. And what kind of guy is okay with that? I dont think my next gf will be staying in her xs bed when hes not home lol.
I know its her right to date and I was about as far from controlling as one could be but this hurts, especially knowing all her poor decisions and how this affects the kids. Plus I think he is acquaintance of mlc friend. I question my decision to give her 1/2 custody sometimes.
She tried to be nice when I got the kids but she knows Im mad. Partly at myself but also at her. Not necessarily this but the whole mess, all of it! I have lots of resentment towards her. I didnt say more than hi but when I looked on the mirror leaving I had grinch face, you know the scene. Not a good look for me:)
I didnt do anything yet but I am thinking of getting the last few things of hers put together, give them to her and ask her to only communicate with me about the kids and through text and tell her Im taking her car off my policy at the end of the month. I really want to tell her to never speak to me again and I mean it but I have kids in this mess. Idk I guess I need to calm down and think but Im tired of this. Maybe a little time so Im not just unloading after she told me that, tit for tat. She could have hidden it from me and it is good she told me but Im a used fool nonetheless. Thank you and sorry if you made it through that but it needed to come out. I dont want to carry that energy.
