Nicole and V, as always thanks for you inputs, it is much appreciated WAH has had a complete change in personality in the last 6 months, the 15 years we have been together I can count on my fingers the number of times he has even raised his voice against me let alone say anything remotely as hurtful. The flaw in his personality is I think that he bottled up everything for this long and once BD was done even the smallest of incidents was my fault. His behavior now is unpardonable and unacceptable, but had he been like this I would not have stayed married for this long let alone have children with him. It is very uncharacteristic and is not a reflection of his other self. I refrained from saying his true self because I have come to believe what I have now in the present is the truth, the past may have been different, the future unknown but in the present he is toxic. My 180 of being patient was not supposed to turn me spineless, I failed to enforce boundaries and let him push, this was aiding his behavior. While he is certainly not a delight right now, I do not think abuse is inherent to him or rather was not in the past and I should be stronger to say that I will not stand for irrational behavior and I am putting in the work to get there. I am thankful that this forum is giving me the insight and tools to handle this unknown devil
