I need you guys right now!!

[ovrrnbw]

What Steve said is right. The quicker you get strong, the quicker you detach and let her go, the better things will get.

Are you seeing an counselor? Have you discussed marriage counseling with your wife? If so, what did she say?

If you get intel (like looking at her phone) and find evidence of a physical affair, don't confront her right away. Bring the info here before stepping on your own toes.

I hate to say it, but I imagine she has slept with one or more of these guys. She doesn't have clean boundaries. And her willingness to engage other men like this and stay the night don't bode well for the idea of her not sleeping with them. Why couldn't she text you to pick her up?

I don't think married people should be alone with people of the opposite sex. Mike Pence has it right on this one. There's just no point. Men and women can't be "just friends". That's a rule, don't make exceptions as they just aren't necessary to a good relationship or marriage.