And still struggling 2

[Jim1234]

It's been a while since I've posted, mostly since not much has gone on. With the mediator having all the information, it's really just a matter of finding time when we can get together, read the separation agreement over, and sign it. With our schedules, that may take a little time. I'm not sure that's a bad thing.

W needs money to pay some contractors, so, with the separation agreement pending, I agreed she could liquidate some of our mutual funds. (thanks Steve for reminding me that I don't have to do it for her! She asked me to, but I made her.)

Her mother, sister, and cousin are coming from overseas for a visit next week. W turned 60 recently, and is throwing herself a birthday party. She invited me; I happened to have my work schedule right in front of me, and could let her know right then that I wouldn't be able to attend. She mentioned she was going to invite my family, too, and wasn't sure if any would come. I didn't comment, but I suspect no one will, except possibly my sister in law. I have thrown her great, lavish, surprise parties on the big ones that were very well attended. The vindictive side of me hopes no one shows up to this one.

I like her family, and hope to see them. I don't want to manipulate them into helping me, but OTOH I hope her mother will talk to her and help her see the light. Not holding my breath.

She's finally getting around to doing things around her house, like unpacking boxes and painting. I'm pretty sure it's because she doesn't want her mom to see the state she's been living in. That doesn't help me, because her mom will think she's been living normally for the last year, and so won't push her to get help for depression.

Every now and then I remind myself about what I don't like about my EW, I do this especially when I start to feel weak.

I was watching a TED talk about two weeks ago, and it suggested the same thing. I don't know if it's helping, but at least it's something I can actively do, rather than just sitting there feeling sorry for myself.