I do follow along here, I just don't post too much. I see your sitch from a couple of different view points. That's also what I try and do with everyone here because I think it makes ME a more open-minded, and less judgy, person, which is a 180 I need.
I think the other posters' frustrations come from the perspective that 1. we are all rooting for you and WAW, however 2. they want to see you come from a position of more independence and confidence. They don't want to see you waiting on her, accommodating her, or just hanging around at her place. They want to see you living your fabulous independent life and then YOU get to be the one to decide if she is included in that. So I am not sure it matters as much if you do or don't go to her house, but more so they would like to see you take back some power in this relationship with her. Is that correct or fair to say? I do like the approach of you having a fun plan, inviting her, and then following through on that plan with or without her.
I do also hear (read) what you are saying. You cannot force this more than what it is. If a friendship comes of it, well then that may be all there is. And given your history, that may not survive once you two pair off with other people. So right now all you can do is carry on and be okay with the outcome, whatever that may be. You are in a place now where you are going to occasionally initiate the contact, which is something you have not done before. So that in itself is a 180. Am I correct?
I honestly agree with both of these positions. I also agree with artista that she may just not be in a place where she is wanting to R. On some level you both know that once you are in a R, you are all in. So there could be this subconscious fear that you could blow that chance too soon.
As I see it, you are fine and you can keep doing what you are doing. Try and not over analyze every detail and what her motives are. Just live your life. Chances are she does not even know herself what she really wants. She wants to know you and be around you. She enjoys your company and she keeps coming back. She also sees some changes that she likes. Understandably, she may have a lot of reservations about starting to date again. After all, if it doesn't work, that could be it and the friendship ends there and you both are left feeling like you blew it. She wants to be sure. And I think she cannot be sure she is ready until you spend more time together.
So keep doing what you are doing. Let her reach out and you reach out occasionally too. Make plans and include her. If she says no, think little of it. You can also say no when she invites you some of the time. This will unfold in time and I don't see any reason to rush it.
I see nothing wrong here. That's my take.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
