What would be the point of either of you looking at the video? Does she not believe you know, or not believe you have the video?

IMO this is a potential roadblock to R. You know about the OM, she knows you know. You have your boundary. All of that is fine.

The video just adds awkwardness and pain.

H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.