I sometimes fantasize about a life living alone. My kids visiting and lower stress. Becoming this eligible bachelor and after taking a break even pursuing other women. It doesn't seem all that bad. I guess this is a healthy part of detachment. Although I do, I struggle to imagine dating W.
I don't know that I have read about others expressing these feeling. If so I would like to hear. I also welcome any thought on this.
RR, yes I have had that fantasy/vision many times since separating from my W. It is the supposed light at the end of this long tunnel I currently find myself within. And yes, dating the W thought is a struggle for me as well. I don't believe it's because I could/would not, but rather almost like in the bachelor scenario there's just no place that a previous relationship fits in it if that makes any sense.
Originally Posted By: RR17
As I live in Limbo. I have been reading and watching videos about masculine and feminine dynamics. I find it helpful in understanding what traits I have embraced in my M that ultimately make us men unattractive to our Ss. I won't go so far as to say I had NGS but I believe that we morph into something that hardly resembles our pre-MR self and doesn't look anything like what the W was attracted to in the first place.
I've been watching videos/reading just like you and while I know many things I could have done to improve myself, I do also find myself wondering if perhaps ladies have an unrealistic expectation on pre and post male attractiveness in an MR. I'm not trying to get men off the hook at all for being responsible to keep doing all they can in the MR, but over many years surely initial feelings/attractions will recede for both parties, I would like to believe replaced by a much stronger bond and love. Hopefully my thoughts on this make some sense.
