I could really use some coaching about going dark - which as my W has filed for D seems to be the way to go (based on what I have read on this forum so far) W is contacting me about issues to do with our children, stuff like asking me to bring them to her in her psychiatric hospital for visits. How should I proceed please? Thanks
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
I could really use some coaching about going dark - which as my W has filed for D seems to be the way to go (based on what I have read on this forum so far) W is contacting me about issues to do with our children, stuff like asking me to bring them to her in her psychiatric hospital for visits. How should I proceed please? Thanks
I could really use some coaching about going dark - which as my W has filed for D seems to be the way to go (based on what I have read on this forum so far) W is contacting me about issues to do with our children, stuff like asking me to bring them to her in her psychiatric hospital for visits. How should I proceed please? Thanks
What do you want to do?
How old are your children?
My children with my current W are 10 and 8 plus 19 and 17 from my deceased first wife. Re what I want to do- my wife has refused to countenance couple therapy in the past year - saying she wants to get herself fixed up though therapy first before starting couple therapy. I hate the idea of D full stop and having had many years of great times, as well as our fair share of problems too, for me D seems to be such a drastic measure, I really hoped we could try and resolve our problems through therapy So I would do anything to keep our family together. I realise that I cannot change my W only myself.
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
Re going dark, below is a text interaction between myself and W, is this the correct way to be going dark?
Today I received this message from my W -Is there any chance you could meet me in ****** with the boys after school? I have an appointment and should be done by 5:30. Otherwise I could come to the house and pick them up and take them for dinner.
My reply, short and to the point: -I cannot bring the boys today, they have clubs after school and then scouts.
Her reply : -Ok. I know you cannot bring the boys today - but can we meet in ***** tomorrow so that I can get my phone issues sorted out?
My reply: -your phone is not my business
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
Well the 10 and 8 year old are not of an age that they can get their own transportation to see your wife.
So maybe you should help with that.
I think the thing we need to realize with children is that we need to not get in the way of their relationship with their mother. So what you are doing is more for your children than for your wife. Be the best DAD that you can be is never the wrong decision.
On reflection, my responses seem too curt. Currently my W has been paying for shopping money as i am not in great shape financially, so if I need her to continue contributing financially to the family, responses such as those above are not likely to help keep things smooth. So again, I am not quite getting how to go dark in my current situation All advice gratefully received!!
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
On reflection, my responses seem too curt. Currently my W has been paying for shopping money as i am not in great shape financially, so if I need her to continue contributing financially to the family, responses such as those above are not likely to help keep things smooth. So again, I am not quite getting how to go dark in my current situation All advice gratefully received!!
Anyone? Thanks
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
