Thank you Maika for your reply. Yes, not getting that ONE chance is the most painful part of my sitch. I know that I have grown/learned a great deal, W says she has as well, but instead of W being willing for us to create some stronger and better than what we had before, she simply says "No thanks".
Communication/honesty well I feel like if I had anything that seriously bothered me I would have told her and felt comfortable to do so, BUT I'm a very laid back, go with the flow type. W is much more passionate, has anxiety and is very plan/detail oriented. Reality is that clearly she was unhappy, but beyond saying unhappy she could/would not bluntly/blatantly tell me what it was that she needed. And as we've discussed, if she could not, it's not like I could read her mind and determine what she needed.
And yes I know the answer to that. For us 5+ years, a precious D...for her to just not even try...I can't understand that. A marriage is always going to be hard work, I will remain until D fully committed to W, but she seems quite clear and content to just walk away.
Yes I feel the same way. For sure I had my faults, I can see so much that both of us could have done to improve our MR. The change occurred with the birth of our D. Children really impact the dynamic of the MR. But the thing is, this is completely common! The internet is littered with tons of stories exactly as ours. No, I didn't deserve this and for sure my D did not. Our marriage does not deserve this! I honestly am jealous of those LBHs who have sitchs in which the W is at least willing to try. It is an utterly helpless/hopeless/emotionally abusive feeling to have a W who simply quits/gives up and walks away.
Someday, somehow I will recover from this terrible period of my life. Perhaps with the benefit of time and hindsight I will be able to ascertain why I had to suffer incredibly throughout this year. There MUST be more happiness ahead in my future, but currently I'm in a dark and terrible place.
