Arsh, one other thing - when my husband asked for an immediate divorce in January and I asked him why it had to be right away he said it's because he "doesn't want me to have any hope."
How kind of him, he is right. Believe his brutal words. What mindset says I can abandon my family completely? What type of person does that? Not a kind loving one who wants out of an M but does so with sensitivity.
Then he whisked his girlfriend away to Dubai presumably to celebrate.
He used marital resources to get his man parts wet.
Such an urgency to divorce right away could be a sign that your husband has someone else.
Or something like wanting to screw around.
Eventually you'll likely find out if it's anything serious. I remember you saying you and your husband have been together for a long time.
Who says an OW has to be serious. It's seriously arsehole to behave like this in the first place.
Your husband might be like mine, believing he missed out on the dating scene when he was younger and wanting to have fun. It's not by chance these guys become this way after we have kids. We're too busy and exhausted tending to the children to focus on our husband's needs and we can't give them the fun carefree life that a single younger woman could offer. Suddenly they're faced with a dilemma.
You are mind reading and projecting. The abuser has no dilemma at all, they are enjoying themselves. Make no mistake this is no dilemma. There is no moral discussion by the wayward in their head. This woman will drop her knickers, yes or no is as deep as it goes. STDs? Don't care!
Why should I stay in his oppressive burdensome marriage with a boring tired nagging wife when I can have this sparkling young, single, gorgeous girl who has all the time in the world to make herself look good and shower me with attention?
Why assume this? It's your script. It's knickers down and get laid. It's that sophisticated. It's aren't I a great player. The woman has open legs that's enough.
The temptation is so great to break free.
They have been free to dip their wick.
It seems many MLC issues revolve around this dilemma as well. The miserable life you have now verses the perfect fantasy life you deserve. And yes, based on what I've observed, there appear to be an unlimited supply of women who could care less if a man is married with young kids. In fact it seems to be very common. And that makes it even more tempting for men like your husband - they can find another woman and they don't need to commit. They can date, sleep with other woman, do whatever they want because such women make it easy. In American / Western culture you can have a one-night stand, casually sleep together, or date for a long time without getting married and this is all fine.
Waywards seek waywards. There are hundreds of men and women out there who can't really connect and be truly find intimacy. If they find each other then that's all good.
In any case I've been thinking about your situation and I just don't think it's anything that you've done wrong and I doubt anything will stop your husband until he gets what he wants and discovers it's not so great.
That's You projecting. For the wayward it is great. They love it.
Then he should be back.
largely to get more resources.
You should feel confident about that if you suspect an affair.
Don't dignify this an an A. It's out and out wild abusive behaviour. It isn't even good enough to be scummy. This isn't limmerence with cutie pie no knickers, it's a love affair with his own man parts.
Even my husband was living his fantasy life several times now with his girlfriends and the relationships didn't work out - nothing can be that perfect forever.
They aren't after a perfect new R! They are after dipping their wick over and over.
Once they figure that out then suddenly you and your daughters and a warm, cozy home will start to look much better again.
Never seen that in an abuser. You are projecting because that is what you want of him. They only seem to come back to start the cycle again. Get on with your life and build for yourself. Character disorders don't spontaneously change to loving faithful spouses. The more the wayward behaviour the less likely.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
