I believe in wayward behaviour and arsehole stuff. These are provable.
MLC seems to me to be an excuse to think this awful behaviour is a disease of the mind and look if you wait it out long enough, possibly decades even then they (The MLCers) will magically come out of it!
No they are arseholes, Miss Haversham.
That area of the board is truly crazy. I don't go in there unless I have full mental armour on. And my sitch was one of the craziest here bar none. The G was a nut par excellence, an abusive nut. Not a sweet guy trapped in his fog, waiting to emerge.
MLC is abusive behaviour not mental illness. Those that do best in an abusive situation accept that they have been the target of an abuser and work to heal. Why hang on waiting for a wayward to heal spontaneously?
So if there is true remorse and atoning that is great, but in the meanwhile DB will help you heal your life, set boundaries, be a better partner. Stronger and more attractive.
In the end I believe that the LBS is the one who says enough, they have become such amazing peeps that the wayward is no longer attractive in any way.
I am here to say, stand up for yourself it is the most attractive thing you can do. Don't let the wayward take all the family resources to spend on their waywardism. The more of it you have the better you can live your life. And the more reality bites for the wayward. It is the most loving thing you can do to encourage that realisation that they are abusive and to atone.
Those with personality issues won't ever wake up. They have a deep problem with their charachter. That takes enormous work, cluster B personalities get WORSE with time and by their very natures won't become great people. They are disordered not diseased.
Be strong.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
