Well, I thought that was the last post. Update: they got engaged. Also, OM was accepted to a prestigious university, having a bright future when it comes to salary and career. Somehow my self-image got shattered - not because I would care to get my XW back, but because it reflects how much worse I am in many aspects. I am sure I could get there with work too but I have zero interest in that career path. I will never have the possibility to get as high when it comes to social appreciation and no matter how hard I have tried, changing my view about the meaning of money is not working. There have been times when I question the possibility of changing oneself altogether as I think this doing is just forceful facade, not a genuine change. Somehow the neural pathways do not die. Maybe it requires more time but I am getting somewhat exhausted of forcing myself. I like it, but why does not it become natural already? Maybe it is genetic.
Well, gladly this was the first time I got a setback in months and it is mostly about a reflection of myself, not really about them. Overall I feel pretty content.
Happy summer.
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
