B - I totally know what you're going through. I mean that. Like you, I was more than willing to pull up my sleeves and put in the work, but she wasn't. That loss of control was mind bending. I would've done what was needed to improve and rebuild our marriage. And it would've been something stronger and more beautiful. Never was even given a chance.
And yeh, you're right about communication and honesty. I know I failed in that regard as well with my W and I wanted to figure it out. But when the other person is unwilling, what can you do?
I absolutely felt like a failure and also a piece of trash that could be just set aside like that. Like a decade of us being together and having two kids in the process and having gone through challenges and joy didn't mean anything. For me it was like - shouldn't all of that count for something to get a second chance? You know the answer to that.
The mind-reading $hit is just appalling. I really resent that like I should've just known. If her needs and concerns weren't communicated to me, how the hell is anyone supposed to know. Personally, I think it's a cop out and a cowardly excuse to rationalize their behavior and deciding to step outside the MR.
So as you said - you gotta take the hit and learn from it and move on. I know I had my faults, but I didn't deserve this. And my kids didn't deserve it either. It's all unfair, but now I know that self-reliance comes first and trust with others will come second.
