MY TRAGIC WAW STORY PART X

[ItHurts]

Hi One Less,
Well no there was no update until a couple days ago when WAW came walking into my work again. She mentioned that her pet Betta fish had died last time we hung out and I had told her I would bring her a new one next time I was coming over. Somehow the subject of the fish came up and we started to make a plan for Saturday night (last night) but I was working so we kept getting interrupted. So WAW said to give her a call when I was off work to "iron out our plans." So after work we talked and I suggested that I would go to her house, take her to the per store and let her pick out a new fish. Then we stopped for dinner.

Conversation consisted of the usual though... consistently talking about old memories, a bit more about what went wrong with us, and once again there was reference to how her sexual relationship was lacklaster compared to me. She mentioned she was with only one guy since me (except for the initial OM issue which s happened the first couple months after the divorce...which fizzled out within a week back then.) She expressed how she is "man hating" at the moment and that she isn't interested in dating anyone.

Once we returned to her place after dinner and the pet store she said she was going to change into some sweatpants. I had to pee so I went to the bathroom to pee but you have to pass through her room to get to the bathroom so I said do you want me to wait until you're changed and she said "No you've seen me naked hundreds of times." I laughed and said yes it's all previously charted territory. Then at one point I made a joke about an intimate sexual thing about her and she cracked up all embarrassed. She said jokingly that "you need to forget some things" and laughed some more. So I teased her a hot more and then we got onto a different subject. She wanted to make a fire so we went outside and did that.

At one point she thanked me for coming over and said that she's been feeling lonely. This was around the time she mentioned her loss of interest in dating that I mentioned previously. I responded in kind and told her I wasn't too thrilled with the scene as it is either.

On a sidenote, Mary had come back within the past couple weeks wanting to R with me. She had texted about me fixing a computer issue she was having and when I got to her house within about 20 minutes she was kissing me. She told me she loved me so much and that she never really could move on. She said that she told herself that if she ever had a chance to get back with me she was going to try. So in my effort to move on from WAW who I hadn't heard from in a couple weeks I gave it another go with Mary. We never officially got back together because I wanted to go really slow before I committed to her again. I also kind of wanted to stay officially single. So Mary and I hung out, went on a couple dates, etc. Things were going pretty good and Mary was very happy she said.

WAW hadn't contacted me for a couple weeks until she showed up at my work Friday so I figured maybe she was dating someone and our friendship had ended again as we said it would if either of us became involved with someone. I guess I was wrong because she clearly hadn't dated anyone and doesn't have interest in anyone. So I'm not sure what the two weeks of her not contacting me was about but apparently that is irrelevant now since we hung out last night.

Ironically the week before WAW reappeared Mary left again because her Dad, whom she is completely reliant upon for her home and money, disapproved of her seeing me again and then suddenly Mary broke it off. I don't think Mary wanted to but whatever her Dad said to her convinced her to do so. I guess her Dad doesn't think I'm good for Mary because I can't support her and also because "he left you once, he'll probably leave again." So Mary came and went again over the past 3 weeks and then WAW miraculously reappeared.

So here I am single, WAW is single, neither of us really wants to deal with the dating scene. So I guess opportunity presents itself yet again.

So now I'm thinking of being more aggressive this time. I'm going to ask WAW to come with me to a bonfire later this month with some old friends of mine that she also knows. I have got to push a little here now. I know some of you think I should take it slow but I feel like the iron is hot now. This is all happening for a reason. I can't accept it as mere coincidence that we're both single and we hoth want the same things. Talking with WAW it seems to me based on the things she said she wants from a relationship that it's painfully obvious I am all the things she wants. But there is that damned hesitation I sense from her that is keeping this this thing a little too tame for my liking. So I am going to purse her abit. What's the worst that can happen? I'm not going to be pathetic about it though, I'm just going to initiate contact from time to time now. She said herself she's lonely. Also when I called her after work we wound up talking for nearly 3 hours after we made our plan for yesterday. I noticed that when she mentioned things that I didn't do for her that she wished I did sometimes, like going out and socializing more, making dinner once in awhile for her, etc....that she grunted with disgust that I do do those kinds of things now. Like when I mentioned I went on the park... she'd reply with something like "you know how many times I tried to get you off that couch and got out and you never would. Now you are the complete opposite! Why wasn't I good enough to do those things with?!" I would reply with "Hey if a man doesn't learn from his mistakes, he not just an idiot, he's not much of a man either." I told her of course I brought my changes into my new relationships because I didn't want to make the same mistakes again and her heartbroken again."
She didn't confess what I've always suspected...that she asked her friend every week who is friends with me on FB, "How's my ex doing?" WAW said she was definitely keeping tabs on me all these years. She also mentioned how her Step-Dad had asked WAW's Mom back when she first left me and moved back in with them "Why is she so mad at him? She got what she wanted. She got the divorce." WAW said her Mom answered with "Because she didn't want to get divorced but he left her no choice." So I thought that was interesting.

In any event it seems WAW gets a little jealous when she hears that I don't act the same way I used to now. That I do go out a lot, have a much more open mind to doing things, etc. Those are all the things she wanted from me back then so I guess it bothers her a bit but she does say she's happy for me that I have changed.

So that's the update everyone.