Do you think your in-laws were more pleasant and happy to see you as part of cultural decorum and politeness? I know that it is something part of my culture and I know it's kinda the same in other parts of Middle East. It's at least good you were able to be there and not feel very uncomfortable.
About where you're going - I dunno. But, what I suspect is happening is that he's in a jam right now and is trying to lean on you for whatever support or time he needs. Maybe he's doing the bare minimum so that his parents and friends don't get on his case about being an absent father. Him saying one thing and doing another seems to be a common pattern with WW/WH, so that's kinda par for the course. You just can't rely on him and anything he says he will do.
This doesn't look like recon to me. Recon would be deliberate, more focused, communicative, and some planning of next steps. This just looks like he's waffling all over the place.
I wouldn't let him stay over at your place. You've made great progress moving forward with your life and don't let him derail things. Him staying over night means nothing, it's just crumbs and it's about himself.
I also want to challenge you on staying at your in-laws. Was it really them being lonely, or you wanting to stay there until your D got back and take her home? Are you creating space for him to get away with being a temporary parent? If you had left, what would've happened? He would've had to figure out the rest of the day and take care of D.
You're not responsible for his relationship with D, but are you also letting him get off the hook being a parent when he's in town?
