When me and him split during my pregnancy, she befriended me immediately. Everyone was upset, not at me but at her bc they knew that she would cause drama. Well, she did. When me and him reconnected when the. Any was born I was focused on him and did not bother with her anymore. No words were spoken, but she blocked me on social media etc.
I'm curious why you got so much closer to her when you split up and then completely cut her off when you got back together? That's strange behavior on your part. Sounds like you were just using her to keep a lifeline to him.
Quote:
Last night, out of nowhere she send me a very nasty and rude text. I IGNORED IT.Basically calling me out of my name and saying I'm a horrible person. I was instantly very mad. I had never told things that she said, but my boyfriend knew she was fillling my head with crap. But, I never spilled. I did finally confess a few things but I had said at the time we needed to move on, no more family drama. So, when reading this text with her going off and belittling me, I came unglued. I was driving and I tried to call his sister. I ended up going to her apartment to calm me down. I called the sister in law and told her "nicely" what I felt and we exchanged some nasty text messages. I ended up confiding to his sister again how I felt about her brother and that I needed to move on. It's obvious that he has and that I look ridiculous.
Within and hour he was calling. He wasn't mad at all. To be honest, I think he was proud of me for sticking up for myself and him, and telling her off. He asked m to wait at the apartment so I did. It went well. Me him and his sister discussed the situation for a good bit and then we left. While I was at his sisters, his brother was in the phone with him and my boyfriend was defending me saying "she called her looking for something, so she is getting it". He also said that my loyalty has always been for him and she should have never confused that.
Next time do the above. You are curtailing the drama just like someone trying to put out a fire with gasoline.
Loves, did he ask you to come at lunch or did he suggest you have lunch together? Do not mind read, even if he did ask you out for lunch may be he wants to talk about a few things. Wait to see if he checks back, if not suggest a different time, remember you have a whole life to live that does not revolve around him - Arshi
Oh. No no. Don't miss understand, he didn't ask me to lunch. I didn't take it that way. He said I could come get it at his lunch time.
And Another Stsnder, I totally see where you are coming from. Or can see why you see that. She befreuended me when he moved out the first time. Called me immediately, offered to be a friend during that crazy time. She continually kicked up drama for me. Would always call and tell me negative stuff about him during that time. She mostly would talk about her issues with the family. I think she was using me to get to the family. When he came back, he knew she had been up to no good and told me that he did not appreciate her behavior. Or all the drama it caused. Example-while in labor, in labor, she was texting me about pictures his mother had posted of her child on facebook. Now mind you, I was in the hospital for two days having my son, a rough time, but she was more focused on getting me to talk trash. I ignored it. She kept going for the next couple of days. I ignored it. Obviously bc I just had a child. She became upset with me then. I knew that I would have to back off from her to maintain my relationship.
Ah, that makes more sense. Well I don't blame you for cutting contact, but people like her thrive on drama and conflict so she will keep trying to get to you using either honey or vinegar. To people like that it doesn't matter, negative attention is just as good as positive, the goal is attention, doesn't matter what kind. So don't respond to her NO MATTER WHAT. If she fires off a nastygram to you then just delete it, or better yet block her number on your phone so you never see it to begin with.
Yea, I just didn't want to post all the negative things she did. But, in one way I think it opened our commutation. I won't be responding to her. And he knows that. It's not my style. I say what I need, then let it be. I wouldn't be surprised if she tried again. But it won't matter anyways.
Part of me wishes I would have ignored it. But I did get what I. We're out. So either way it's fine.
I'm still focused on him. As always. He seems to know that.
I texted him a few hours later the id do whatever is easier for him. I did not get a response. But I had told myself not to. It's funny how much the "no expectations" helps your frame of mind.
Welp. Big surprise, no response, no drop off, no call. I am not the least bit surprised. I have to be honest, I really think he wanted me to come up there at his lunch time, and when I didn't jump at the chance and I also responded later, I think it bothered him. Whenever he doesn't respond to a text, it's bc he is upset. He couldn't really let me know that he's upset bc I responded perfectly in saying "whatever is easier for him".
I'm NOT going to text him asking either. This is typical of him wanting some sort of reaction from me. I put the no contact into place last weekend and I'm sticking to it. I only respond to him if he calls or texts. Another helpful thing is, I know he will give me the money. He's not shady like that so i really don't need to be blowing his phone up, it will make me look to needy and aggressive.
I feel in my bones that he's been thinking more about it.
Reading other people's situations helps me identify what I need to do in mine. Also helps me stay accountable.
I still have yet to hear anything. So I'm still inclined to think that I am possibly right. It could have slipped his mind, but I'm thinking not. He called me right when he woke up yesterday to tell me about the money drop, so I don't think it just skipped his mind.
I do wonder why he does so this though. It's very odd to me. Why put it off it play the back and forth? This isn't the first time.
I'm starting to get edgy. At what point doni reach out and ask what is up? Or do I at all?
I know he has the money and will give it to me. I feel like this is a game. Or that I have somehow got to him in some way so he's making me wait. Idk. Need advice.
