Wife is not who I married...Pls Help Pt 4

[LoneWlf]

RR-Nicole-Arshi- than k you for your advice and prayers.

Had a great day at the beach with S and dog. Wind was strong so waves were a bit rough. We threw a football and baseball did some swimming, along with flying a kite ate some sandwiches and junk food. Overall a sunny fun day. I noticed on the way back home S was more sullen and quiet. That's when I just put on music and started to sing to lighten the mood.

We had to go stop by the vet to pick up special diet food for dog. We got home unpacked quickly while S went to shower while I watered the plants. I got showered cleaned up and dressed well. On the way I told S to let his true feelings be known and i would support him fully.

We got to the office first - so S played on his game and I took out my prayer book. Therapist called in S and spoke to him individually. While reading W comes in slightly late. She said Hi .I look up say hi and see that she seems to look tired and frumpy. Same old clothes - her big jeans and a simple blue blouse. I notice she is still fairly heavy. I notice she is wearing her family(maternal side) ring on her right hand. She has cut her hair but it does nothing to enhance her looks almost too boyish a cut. She asked me if S was with T and I said yes. I continued to read and pray.

S came out and asked me to come and talk with T(therapist). T says to me "Man you look awesome - it looks like you have been taking care of yourself- you lost alot of weight and you are looking great!- I thanked him and said I needed to focus on me and I still have a ways to go. He asked about my sitch - job hunting, relationship with S which I confirmed was getting better and he asked me what we have been doing to keep him busy. I told him that together we have S set up with some small goals ( fixing his bed) to some bigger ones (learning cpu coding) by the end of the summer). Some which I have seen some great results. Then he said he would bring in W, He proceeded to to give us hand outs on co parenting and went over it- asked if we were on board and we bot agreed. He then asked W how his the visit with S went. W said she felt anxious all day she said when he buzzed up to her she came down to get him. As soon as she came in S removed his shoes and sat down and kept his eyes on his game. W said she was asking him a bunch of questions about school and summer and would only get "yup" and "nah" as responses. She was trying to get him to open up but he just wouldn't. He went to eat but when asked if he wanted more sauce for his pasta said no. On the drive home to my place he kept his head down - got to my place and quickly exited the car. T then said lets celebrate the small wins here. her agreed to visit, he stayed even tho it was uncomfortable, and he let W drive him home. T said lets see if we can get him to agree with another visit.
T called in S- I can see that S was upset b/c he kept his eyes down and his answers short. Then with S present asked me to give him an update on what was happening in the house. First I said I want to acknowledge S for his hard work - his planning- his following thru and determination on his studies. By raising a failing mark by 20%. By having an 80% average while going thru this very tough transition. And by coming up with initiatives that help to be more productive around the house. I also said his thoughtfulness and attitude have also become better. We have become closer and more receptive to one another. The T then shifted and then asked about W -what did she want ? W said she wants a relationship with S and that she too feels it to be awkward. T then asks S would you be willing to visit W again possibly overnight? S says - No. T asks will you be willing to visit again for a meal? S says I need to think about that. T says at least it is not a definite no- Just think about it. Then W asks if we brought his report card. I said no - but I can scan her a copy. T then says to conclude this session lets let S when he has an opportunity in the next week or so write down a bunch of questions for the T on how he feels and why he thinks he feels that way. From there he said we will see how S is and take it from there. S quickly got up and exited the room and the office. I got my things together and was last to leave the room as I was leaving T said keep up the good work!
W was talking to the receptionist as i was passing by - she looked up and said can you email me the report card . I said sure! Then she responded - have a good weekend! - said and you too! - I better get going S already outside. She said Take care_ i said- bye!

I was nervous about this meeting- I read up on detachment before the meeting and mad sure I cam from a place of listening and validating when necessary - not like in the past where my stance was on defending myself. I felt confident in my words and actions - I looked good and tbh I feel as if my W has lost her attractive ness in many ways. She does not look like she is taking care of herself. I am not sure how I feel now that I think about it. I know this may also change. For those that have given me advice prayers and good wishes - Thank you! What comes next- I'm not sure!