Arsh, I wish I was some kind of an expert but just based on what I hear from you it seems you're doing the right thing. A legal battle would take longer and would cause you to suffer more. It wouldn't increase the chance of reconciliation assuming your husband won't change his mind until he first experiences freedom and then starts to miss what the two of you had.
One thing I'm having trouble understanding is your husband believing you weren't emotionally available to him while he was depressed. Has he ever talked to you about what caused his depression and whether he has sought treatment? The only doubt I'd have in the back of my mind is if your husband missed you and needed you and he was waiting for you to do or say something at some point to reassure him that you were there for him. Then when you didn't do it perhaps he got mad and went into a downward spiral that led him to want a divorce? I don't think that's the case. There's enough evidence that you've tried to be responsive to him and offer to fix things and even then he didn't want to try, so it seems this is his own issue and he's simply blaming you to make himself feel justified.
You know your husband better than anyone here. There's the possibility of you trying to make some final statement about how you're sorry you didn't realize he was depressed because you were busy with the kids but you're confident the future is bright and this difficult time will pass. I doubt it would make a difference but I do believe your husband will remember what you say now in the future. I believe the advice you'll get from most people here is that if you try to say anything to your husband that could appear to be pursuit he'll simply react aggressively and you'll feel even more hurt, so I guess there's really not much more you can do than what you're doing now.
I don't think you're being too aggressive with what you're requesting for you and your daughters. As some have mentioned, you have to separate the business aspect of divorce from the emotional aspect, so it sounds like you're doing great in the business aspect.
It doesn't seem right that your husband thinks he can divorce you and get all the freedom in the world for himself knowing that you don't want this, and then think he can come around whenever he wants, plan parties and trips, and otherwise do normal things together.
