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#2799720 07/06/18 02:15 AM
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fmly1st Offline OP
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I learned that she is making preparations to leave asap and shes going to leave without the kids. Really a blessing for me because shes totally unstable. Im happy i didnt mention anything to her parents because i dont want to show any influencing actions. Even though i need to do a much better job of gal. But i will be plenty busy moving forward.

Im still shocked though at how someone can change who they are like that. Even though i heard stories i would have never thought it was possible!!!

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F,

Take a deep breath and try to relax. This is the best thing that can happen in your situation. Time and space are the only things that turn this around. Do not try to stop her. Right now she feels like a trapped animal in a cage. The longer it takes for you to open the cage door the more she will resent you. Open the cage door and let her run free.

Speak to a lawyer about the ramifications of her leaving the house.

I know that you feel like this is the end but it is only the beginning. How you interact with her through the process will play a major role.

Stay strong my friend! You will survive and thrive if you choose to.

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fmly1st Offline OP
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Thanks LHASA

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Good job on the restraint from speaking with parents! Now you see why sometimes things are better when left unsaid. She can never pin that on you now. Because I'm sure in some twisted way she would have, and may have pushed her further.

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F1

W leaving without the kids is great news. Truly it is.

In time you will see that reality bites. The world out there is a cold and lonely place.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Originally Posted By: LH19
F,

Take a deep breath and try to relax. This is the best thing that can happen in your situation. Time and space are the only things that turn this around. Do not try to stop her. Right now she feels like a trapped animal in a cage. The longer it takes for you to open the cage door the more she will resent you. Open the cage door and let her run free.

Speak to a lawyer about the ramifications of her leaving the house.

I know that you feel like this is the end but it is only the beginning. How you interact with her through the process will play a major role.

Stay strong my friend! You will survive and thrive if you choose to.


Terrific post.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


#2800096 07/08/18 10:38 PM
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fmly1st Offline OP
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M46 w 45
M 20 t 24

D 18
S 17
S 14



Dealing with a ww is like dealing with the devil. Not a shred of honesty, compassion, etc. My w knows the kids know about her om and my daughtee has been taking the sitch hard. Im so sad that im about to send her off out of state to one of the most difficult schools in the country in this mental state.

So my w calls me yesterday to say that our d wants us to get along and bring peace back to the house. I told my w that im all for bringing peace back but that i will not be in a open m. I told her she would have to cut off contact w om. No calls, texts, email, etc. She first started to push back and then conceded. I know its all bs because she shows no remorse. And she flip flops on the affair. She actually has admitted to it only to deny 10 mts later. And she wont even look at the video i have of the both of them all over each other.

Big thing for me is that she hasnt apologized. That tells me shes still living in la la land and needs to have me as the enemy. Her only apology after listening to the two of them together was, "im sorry that you feel that way"! This girls is pure evil right now and i cant even get her out of my house,

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Stay your course, hold your boundary.

She will leave as soon as she learns you are holding your boundary.

It's really really tough I know.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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What would be the point of either of you looking at the video? Does she not believe you know, or not believe you have the video?

IMO this is a potential roadblock to R. You know about the OM, she knows you know. You have your boundary. All of that is fine.

The video just adds awkwardness and pain.


H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
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Fmly1st, your description is so accurate. It's like they've become possessed by a demon. I wonder if exorcism would work!? The lack of remorse is hard to accept, especially when the children get hurt. It's something about humanity, along with war, torture, murder, and other tragedies, where we have to wonder why God permits such suffering in the world. And where is the justice? You can go to jail for stealing a car which doesn't really hurt anyone's feelings but you can do this to your family and there are no consequences whatsoever. It's just hard to accept.

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