While I was away, I was reading your posting and really thinking about it.
I know how important it is to you to have someone with strong values. But there are values that extend upon believing in monogamy and not leaving your family. Kindness and they way you treat people I think are amongst some of the most important values. If you feel he is not treating you kindly and respectfully, well, then he lacks those values.
I was with my ex for about 9 years and he devalued me often. I couldn't do anything right in his eyes, I did everything to avoid his criticism and I became resentful. I now watch it happen to my poor daughter. I picked her up from her dad's one day and he asked if I was going to CVS if I could have D10 pick up a birthday card for her grandmother. As we are in the store, she is looking at cards and told me she was scared she was going to get the wrong one because daddy never approves of anything she choses. I know this as a fact. I lived it.
I can only tell by what you write here about the guy, as I do not know him. But just because he has family values, doesn't mean he has all values. ANd it is ok for you to want more compatibility and respect from a partner. You aren't married to him, you are dating, and this is where you find out if you want to continue to seriousness. Because I know that you are a fiercely loyal person and you have many values and morals, and I don't know that if you got to living together or marriage, you wouldn't leave because you are an amazingly loyal and moral woman. So I would hate to see you in that position. Especially the one where you aren't comfortable in your skin and walking on eggshells and doubting yourself.
because just as you are, you are an incredible woman and mother and you should carry that with pride.
