Patience & DB / Detach or Divorce

[Did]

Thank AS & Loves I appreciate the feedback and support. We have been spending time around each other for months. She texted me "Hey Mom dads the best dad" I responded Ha awesome and loved the text.

Consistency and patience are hard for me. I wonder what shes thinking when she sends a text like that. Like wouldnt any woman think I want to be with the guy my daughter thinks is the best dad... the guy that supports me loves me wrote letters and cards etc and fought for me for months...

Trying to be patient and hope reassurances from you guys are awesome. But there is only 1 persons opinion and feelings who really matter. I am so tired of being stuck in leeway separated but not divorced. Her mentioning OM who is a cop or Tinder it just puts me in such a negative place. Yes I say dont mention it boundaries, respect etc. She agrees says she respects me gives me reasons. She always reasons her way out of or through everything. I just want to say I dont care about your reasons dont do it around me or dont be around me but I cant say that. I cant lose my cool. That is the biggest turn off... have to be calm and act like I dont care.

Anytime I expect anything positive or do anything Id normally do with a woman its a step back or negative outcome. Just seems so farfetched that shes going to make her own 180.

But I told her Id pay for 3 months and we could talk about things then so Im going to try to stick to it.

It does help that you think Im doing great though. Because it doesnt feel that way to me sometimes.