Started with the person that gives me lots of one of my freelance jobs, and makes sure that all my invoices are paid, messaging me to say she was leaving her job at the end of July.
Went for a run, and talked myself down from the worry and back into a positive mindset.
Then went to meet some colleagues for afternoon tea (for engagement celebration). It was really nice, they are all genuinely lovely people.
Went to the freelance job in the evening (the one where the person is leaving) and discovered there are now loads of other changes happening from the end of July, and her leaving is only one of them.
When my shifts from there were all cancelled at the start of the year, and my position made obsolete, as well as losing a s**t ton of income, I went through a whole process: confusion, hurt, sadness, anger. I turned all of that to my advantage by finding the hidden gems of possibility in there and following them through. I got to a point where I had enough work lined up for the second half of the year to see me through OK.
Then one of my colleagues from there asked for me to come back. Along with complaints from people hiring the place about the lack of someone doing my old job, it meant that I ended up working back there again. It looked like there would be enough work from there in December too.
December's wage is really, really important, as it's that that gets me through January and February, when there is practically no work in that particular industry going around.
So now it's all up in the air again. Six months later, I'm feeling like I'm pretty much in the same situation I was at the start of the year, when all my shifts were cancelled and my position made obsolete.
What I'm beginning to understand is that we (the freelance staff) have been caught in the crossfire between the two companies that were involved in running the building and were at loggerheads. I think they were fighting about investment and profits and control of the building.
It's been going on for a few years I think, but it looks like it's finally come to a head. From the end of July, one of the companies will be pulling out, leaving the other company in complete control.
I have the feeling that they want to invest in the building and turn it into something good. At the moment, it's really pretty run down (well, the part that the other company had bee in charge of). We just have to wait and see how things unfold.
It's playing on some of my biggest stressors: not being able to see the bigger picture, and being at the sharp end of decisions made without any input into the process, and having them foisted on me suddenly and seemingly out of the blue.
