Gerda, i am not yet familiar with your sitch. I am not saying that we cannot act without faith or love or good will. If forgiveness eases your heart i am all for it!
I am saying that it is dangerous to project our ways of love onto people that have done great wrongs and have prooved time and time again through their actions amd words that they are dishonorable, liars, Thieves. Willing to put our physical amd financial futures at risk, etc. Etc.
How do you know that a tragedy awakens long lost dead feelings or the desire to connect? That might be how you feel. But not necessarily how a wayward spouse feels. Sure that woukd be nice if they did. But a bit delusional and not really fair of us to make speculations.
I think projections like that can lead to a false and unrealistic hope. Especially if they perpetuate staying in a toxic situation or allowing ones self to be taken advantage of.
We can sit there and say similar things about jeffrey dahmer. Talk about his foo issues. But He was a sociopath!! Look at his actions. Thats enough to know...stay the heck away. Why would anyone want any more?
These guys are lacking. Same premise. Protect yourself and your kids.
