Gordie #20: patiently living my life

[Gordie]

Hawho you are of course correct that with my live in I am constantly seeing her and interacting with her and evaluating how she is doing on herself and how our relationship is developing

Knowing who I am independent of w has been critical and a learning process and truly a lot of has been learned from b d when I truly thought my life was over without my w

Having been thrust into the reality of that potential outcome almost broke me and i day almost because I am still here right

Butterfly that is awesome and do enjoy both recorded music and of course live music the latter of which I indulge in if I am away from w but I guess I feel like it is not right for me to go out solo right now so maybe if I want to do things independent of her that she has never liked instead of giving those things up I still plan them for myself and invite her with no expectations and be totally okay with her saying no and me going without her which is a little tricky

Journaling

Bumped into a friend of w not a best friend but a good friend who is happily married and while we have never discussed it I suspect she suspects something if only because w and I were previously inseparable and she has probably not seen the two of us together in over a year

Well she asked if w and I would like to join her and her h for dinner and I said to check with w

Friend did so and to my surprise w said yes and we all got together and all was surprisingly pretty normal

All four of us ate and drank and had a good evening out and then w was still friendly when we got home and not distancing herself or running off to be by herself

Patience patience patience