Going the Distance (Saying ILY Pt. 6)

[mtb1981]

Steve I am leaving our discussion on victimhood for the moment as it would be useful on the abuse thread.

MTB WW is decompensating very quickly.

Let her. You only have anecdotal evidence that she is accusing you of things. That's not good at all.

Let her fall as far as she needs to. Let others report her for damaging stuff. It would be useful though to have short written statements that she us saying these things. Then it isn't hearsay but witnessed.

WW is what is known in the trade as a reactive compulsive. In layman speak bat shite crazy loco. She won't be able to hold her stuff together. And you aren't seeing her, she isn't visiting the house.

I do recommend keeping a daily diary.

She says you hit her? When exactly?

Oh you were in Tolado that day? Or shopping at Wal-Mart, here is the receipt!

Buy stuff even small items on debit or credit cards. Need gum? Pay by card? Cup of coffee? Card. Send an email, make a phone call (tower pin point), anything that proves where you are.

It's painful but gracious it works.

It's going to be ok, she already shot herself in one foot, now here comes the next bullet.

She is desperate for attention. All it takes now is OM finding another's WW to drop her knickers, then she is fully exposed. (So to speak)

It's so sad, but stay strong for your kids.

V

Thanks, V...

I do not plan on reporting anything. I stay out of anything that concerns her. I don't want to have anything to do with it, and if I did, she would twist things around. It doesn't directly affect me or the kids, so I leave it alone...

I have been documenting her interactions (or rather lack thereof) with the kids, but I do not have a daily diary of what I am doing. That would probably be a good idea. The problem with having proof of me not being around during the accusations is a little tough. She mostly claims that I show up at her house in the middle of the night and do these things. I have made it a habit of using my phone late night while at the house though. I'm always at home sleeping when these things supposedly occur...

You are right. She is desperate for attention. There may be multiple OM's for all I know. One thing I do know is that the original OM is known to be a "player" and is always trying to hook up with women. W is aware of this, but still sniffs around him all the time. It doesn't seem to bother her. She seems to be emotionally obsessed with him. Oh well, she's his problem now. She was actually banned again from the brewery he works at a few days ago. My friend is the head chef there and was telling the owner/manager that she was the one that broke his windshiel and was up at the bar spewing nonsense. Owner didn't like it one bit and doesn't want her around creating drama, especially because OM is the bartender. It's bad for business...

[mtb1981]

So it begins... we are at a friends house swimming so I have not been around my phone. 7 missed calls and 3 texts...

Text 1, call me please

Text 2, can you be an adult and call me? I want t talk to you and do not think texting is appropriate. It is about the kids and nothing else.

Text 3, well since you cannot be an adult I guess I will just have to come over then...

Not sure why texting is s not appropriate or what she even wants. Not sure how to respond. Any advice is appreciated...

[hongaku]

Text back that you were busy and did not have your phone on you, and that you can call now if still necessary?

[mtb1981]

Not sure if you are familiar with my sitch, but I would prefer not to talk to her and have all communication through texts. That way I have a record of everything. With a call I do not have that. W is extremely manipulative and I do not trust her. The fact that she said she feels texting would be inappropriate has me wondering what she has up her sleeve...

I would also like to note that all those calls and texts came within a 45 minute timeframe...

[Vanilla]

Ignore it.

Until there is text content assume it's drama.

A simple text back what is the issue email me.

Have you considered email and my familywizard?

V

[hongaku]

Indeed, then stick to texts/emails. I admit that have not read your entire sitch, just most of the previous thread and this one. My apologies for speaking from ignorance.

[mtb1981]

No worries, hongaku. I am dealing with something a little different than most on this board. Thanks for your input though...

V, I am not going To respond tonight. The kids are having fun swimming and so am I. We plan on watching the fireworks here in a bit. Not gonna let her bring us down. Part of me wonders if she has nothing to do for the holiday and decided that rattle our cage out of boredom. I guess I might look into telling her to email me from now on, but I am afraid that will just piss her off more. I would almost rather not poke the bear since she only makes contact once every couple of weeks. If this nonsense continues though, that is the route I will be taking...

[mtb1981]

I decided not to respomd to the text at all. If it is something important about the kids (her wanting to see them, take them overnight, etc.), she'll text back. I have been very clear with her that if she wants to discuss the kids that I am more than willing to communicate with her through text, but she needs to be specific. None of this "Call me, it's about the kids" because it usually ends up being something other than that. A simple text of "I would like to see the kids. Can we plan a time for me to pick them up?" is all she needs to do if that's what she wants. Like I said, I've discussed this with her before and been very clear...

[ovrrnbw]

Just stay consistent on your boundary and it will be fine!

[Maika]

I call it BS. I do everything over text and it's totally acceptable and fine. I prefer it that way too. The only exception is if there is a kid emergency and you might need to call. Your hunch about this being something more than the kids is totally right. Stick to the texts.