Wife is not who I married...Pls Help Pt 4

[RR17]

LW, I don't need you to admit you're wrong. It's not a 2x4. You need to acknowledge that you have a control issue. And this is from just your side of the story.

For your and your families sake. I honestly think you need to address this. It's not a personal attack. It's a constructive diagnosis. If your S is so delicate, which I don't believe, well you've got him so overscheduled and structured that it is sure to make things worse. Ask him what he wants to do, gift him the freedom without guilt to do these things. THIS will help him become a balanced well-adjusted adult. Prepared to navigate whatever comes his way. You can not fix whatever damage his mother does. So stop trying. The goal is to get you three back together and have this just be a blip on the screen. Right?

Triangulation and control are all over your posts. Read about it, Pray about it.


This is good news. You have found brutally honest a-holes like me to lay it out. At least you know what to work on.

This is what you need to communicate to both these people that you have dropped the rope. Your controlling ways are over. This does not absolve W of any fault. But remember you are not to even try to fix her. All you can do is set boundaries. You are not going to tolerate whatever she subjects you to. That's it. Not control just set boundaries and enforce them.

I really want to help you. I know you feel like I'm picking on you and that's Okay. I don't believe in unconditional support. I believe in actionable feedback and practical application. Do what needs to be done to give yourself the best chance to get the results you desire.