I find myself wanting to confront W about affair, and stand up for myself, but I am hung up on what I can actually do that wouldn't just be controlling. I could close joint accounts saying I can't trust her with our finances, but legally our marital assets equally belong to her, and she is free to max out her own personal credit card. We are in a community property state so in divorce I would still be liable for her spending either way (I still am not sure wife understands how that works). Her using her own card would help me detach in that I wouldn't be hit daily by her purchases. And she is free to open up more credit cards, and she may claim I am financially abusing her. I also see that doing nothing isn't good for me either. W's behavior is costing me a lot of money, and there is no end in sight for her spending and affair.
i am a former Wayward Wife... the biggest mistake my H did was not confront me about my A when he first found out--which was in the beginning stages... he held onto the information for months and months before he finally "confessed." i know it's common practice here to keep it to yourself... i think that is the one of the weakest positions to be in, and i disagree with it whole-heartedly--with a CAVEAT!
when you confront, you must be ready to walk away... to kick the spouse out... to not put up with it in any way, shape or form... and to get on with your life--as in GAL...
please know that i am NOT saying that you must give up on your M... i am not saying that at all... i am saying that in order for you to have any chance at saving your M, you must be willing to let it go... that is coming from a point of STRENGTH...
the sooner you get there--the greater chance you will have in saving your M... mis dos cenatvos...
