Can I really do this #4

[Dtrmned]

Thanks Arsh and Steve.
The get together would be good. My kids would be the only ones that aren't adults now so they wouldn't have anyone to "play" with, but they do enjoy it. I just know that these are professional, educated and people that notice and they will notice that my W isn't wearing her rings. You really couldn't miss the engagement ring. I will think on that and plan accordingly. I do need to get them out regardless and do something.

And yes, I do realize that my W is not who she was. That she has made her decision and any change will take time and will not happen overnight. I enjoyed us reading together for a short time yesterday in the same room, but I did make it a point that I closed my book an left the room and did some other things after awhile. Again, not a puppy dog and not a doormat. This road to R or D is definitely confusing. If I didn't have the GAL, 180's and detachment I would drive myself crazy. I will be consistent. I know I will not be perfect and will not persecute myself when I make a mistake or a wrong decision. I will get up, dust myself off, realize what I did and make the proper correction to move forward. Each day I feel myself get stronger. There are definitely some days and parts of days that I am so in my head and distraught that it feels like I am falling apart. I don't let her see this, hear this or send any type of communication regarding this. She sees me for who I am. The spouse only a fool would leave.

I am the lighthouse. I am the rock for my family. I love the small signs but do know that even if there is one step forward, that tomorrow could be 5 steps back. I love this board and the support it gives. Regardless of how our MR works out I know that I have done everything within my power to give us a path to an amazing MR.