Arsh- When all is said and done be it with H or without H know in your heart that you have tried ALL that you could. One of the things I am most proud of for me and all others here is what we stand for. And that is the covenant with God and our spouses. We are standing for what is right and just. I believe that is why my S stand firm with me. Now is the time to trust in God. He will provide not in our time but in His. Know that my heart and prayers are with your family. Blessings!
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
Hey arsh.. yes the thing is to never give up, but it is to never give up on yourself and your children. You can't do anything about H and the MR right now. How you handled that conversation with him is fantastic. I know it must've been so hard, but you did it with dignity and didn't let him walk over you. Be proud of that!
Let him have his D and all of that. He will get his reality check in time. Make sure you protect yourself and your children and get what is fair in D.
Thanks Steve, JS, Lonewlf and Maika. Venting frustration and sadness here helps. Appreciate all the kind words and support If WAH wants to leave and not see our beautiful, innocent children for most part of the week it is his unfortunate loss. Selfishness and pursuit of a fantasy life should not interfere with your responsibilities as a parent. Some days are miserable and some days like today I feel a little grounded. Back to focusing on my kids and not bothering about what his latest tantrums are going to be.
Quick question, there Are a few maintenance and servicing on various things in the house that need to be done and I want to get them done soon because i cannot risk being at home with the kids and having problems in the winters. I have arranged for various servicemen to do the fixes for the next 2 weeks and it would cost a couple of grand. Typically I would have WAH arrange for it or have his consensus before getting it done. Should I inform or ask him this time? Or should I just proceed since I will be the one having these problems once he leaves if I dont get the work done now
Arsh i would proceed and get them done. Show him you are capable without him. If he tends to bicker afterwards let him not it not only for your benefit but for the benefit of his children. You are doing good. Stay Well!
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
LW every poster here has a voice and a view point. If you relad what is said as thoughts and views not advice that's good.
Some views because of experience have greater weight than others, you will find as you grow in your sitch that there are sitches you are drawn to which give you pause. That is because once you know then you can never unknown.
My experience is with abuse and walkaways, I have fostered teens so that's largely where I can offer the best views. I also don't believe in MLC. I am also now studying law in tbe UK. Sandi was a WW so can offer great views on that.
Cadet is a great alrounder.
Others are brilliant on kid issues, media and legal custody.
Yet others have successfully DB their M.
Don't ever underestimate the power of the tribe, I love it when I see the tribes forming, the support given is awesome.
You are doing so well.
arsh apologies for the hijack. Balance all the views you get as I know you will.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Arsh, it's a strange feeling to not consult with your husband before making decisions about fixing your house but given your husband is preparing to move out it would make the most sense to just take care of the repairs yourself. If you need your husband to contribute financially you could simply tell him you're doing x, y, and z and tell him the amount you need from him. He'll be impressed that you're handling it yourself even if he doesn't say so. It'll also be easier and less stressful for you to deal directly with the workers. Good luck!
