Goes the other way round with you being belligerent with me and acting like $hit. But I don't care.
The only reason I got on your case is that you decided to give Ballast some of your BS advice on NC/Dark on his thread. If you had just stuck to your own thread and implementing whatever you thought was right for you, I have no problem with that. But I have a huge problem when newbies come and start giving contrary advice when they haven't grasped what DBing is and haven't put it into practice fully before making adjustments and tweaks. Ballast is in a precarious position as a newbie and I remember that very well. And getting railroaded by what I would call anti-DB advice can be very damaging for their healing journey.
Do whatever you want to do for your sitch, but stop sharing your theories with other newbies when yours isn't even proven. As I had said, there are 100's of sitch's over the years here where the NC/Dark method has worked for their personal healing journey and at times even being instrumental in recon. Your method is not proven.
Quote:
This shows your arrogance and your ability to not accept and understand how the dynamics of how cultures work. Seeing my wife after 3+ months without anything in hand. Think about it rather than vomiting your BS. And its not some expensive gift btw, rather a $7 eatable. Stop with all your nonsensical talks about traveling and understanding the whole S Asia.
Again, you fail to understand the nuances of what I am telling you and you picked what you wanted to respond to. First - she has point blank told you she doesn't want to see you. But you show up with sweets - BIG TIME UNDENIABLE PURSUIT. When you're called out on the sweets, you hide behind culture - which is the bull$hit that I was pointing out. There is no single person in S.Asia who can say they understand all the cultures - that should be dam# obvious. What I had said is that I know cultural traditions from across the country and have travelled extensively to know that people don't bring sweets EVERY SINGLE TIME they go to someone's house. I'd love to know which cultural group in S.Asia does that, so please enlighten me. And it is not about the $ value of what you brought or after how long you visited her. You did PURSUIT - which is the entire point of discussion and you clearly don't see that.
Quote:
You still don't get it do you? Just because I am not applying all the principles of DBing does not mean that I am discarded from this forum. If you guys want to throw me out. Feel free to do it. I have no issues.
Oh I definitely get it! Again, your loss of nuance here. The point of DBing is that all these approaches together lead to the good path. And you can make tweaks and changes after following Sandi's rules for a while and understanding them. And if there are anger and resentment issues, this is a loooooong ride - this is the part you don't seem to get. Your NC/DArk timeline is very tiny. Not to mention your W actually telling you she doesn't want to see you and you're not honoring that.
Like AS said - come here to learn and listen, put it into practice, and then come back and tell us what tweaks you made that made a difference. Right now you're making it worse every day.
