If you don't want a Divorce then I would not push her, you are not helping your situation.
If you do or if you don't care you have a say in this as well and you can just file yourself.
It does take time for them to not be as angry and it usually revolves around them not feeling any pressure from the LBS. It took my EW 6 months before she dropped her guard. Now she is calling me on the phone and apologizing to me.
Do what you want, it is your sitch but I think most of the advice you will get on this board is from a DB perspective so if you choose to do your own thing I am not sure you will get the positive re-enforcement or guidance you need/might be looking for.
