Nicole - I would consider this a BIG wake up call.
Your H issues are just in your M its with life right now.
You now more than ever need a plan for you and your D. You need to get to a place where you are no longer dependent on your H for anything - emotional and financial well being will fall directly upon yourself.
You need to stand tall for yourself and your D. Long hours and commutes will suck but a roof over your head and food in your belly need to take priority. You can do this. It is within you to provide at whatever sacrifice needed for you and your D. It may not seem fair and you may get resentful of those moms who don't have to do it all but trust me you and your D will be better for it. I was essentially a single parent from the get go. I worked a demanding job 40-50hr a week. Did every single night time feeding - every Dr appt, working a full day on 3hr of sleep sometimes and I still managed to carve out significant time with my chid - important time, fun time. Many days it was just spending a longer lunch time at the daycare with my 3 month old, etc. It can be done! He was diagnosed on the autism spectrum disorder at 5yr old. I did every therapy and conselling appt - I missed nothing and was extremely proactive in working with him since the time he was 2. I was exhausted every minute, but I did it. My son is soon to be 17yr old. He is happy and so incredibly independent. He is near genius smart. Has a good group of friends. He will be attending college in 2 years.
I'm not trying to brag about myself but rather set you up that you can do this.. that you need to do this.
Your H may be tempted to move into your apt with you because that is the easiest path for him. Less work for him. You may let him because you reminiscence about your previous life together OR you have hopes for how your future could be.
Nicole - don't let your H move in with you.
Not at this point. Not until he fixes what is wrong with him. If he gets a good job even if its not in medicine - well fantastic. He is better at emotional/financial stability... well maybe. Truth be told the more Hospitals that let him go... they are all talk to each other... the harder it is to find new work. He has to address his own issues.
Truth be told Nicole that if you really stand up to take care of yourself you may not want your H in the end. You may truly see more of his flaws that you don't want to settle for. Don't mistake my speech in standing on your own two feet to mean that you don't co-parent your D. That is a separate issue. You should do everything you can to support any kind of relationship with your H and D - that is important. He may never be the parent that you are but he is still a parent and can bring something to the table that is uniquely his.
This is your wake up call - to be the strong woman that you really are. Nicole I believe you have what it takes to do this. You have to move past your M and your H. Who knows where the future is from this point. I will share a beautiful story which is a true story of how couples can and do reunite in a few days.
