Moving past the WAW to a stronger me Pt. 2

[Davide]

Today was a good day.

I spoke with my IC for an hour, mainly about the issues raised here. He basically preached self-compassion and that he thought my path was working pretty well for me. He did point out (accurately) that he was surprised by my emotional reaction to Benito's post, and that I had handed over so much power over my emotions to people on this forum. It was a good point. It was hard for me to explain how comforting and soothing it has been to have a plan (which I adopted and modified slightly to make my own) to follow, a plan made by others and buttressed by the support and guidance of others here. That said, I shouldnt give over that power so easily to anyone. A large part of it is because I do at times question if my positive self-talk, mindfullness, mental reframing towards more positive thoughts -- if all those things were just a form of denial. They are not indigenous to my brain as I have always tended towards the negative, and it is easy to doubt how real they are.

That said, I had a wonderful day. An hour of morning yoga was a good start. Catching up with a friend I hadn't see in 14 years was amazing as well. A session climbing for the first time in a week. Dinner with my friend and two cute kids was the final piece of the day.

I talked with my friend I hadnt seen in 14 years about my sitch (she never even met the W) and it was good to get that out there. I also verbally acknowledged how hard it was when memories of past times with the W here would pop up, triggered by a location or just a stray thought. I talked with my other friend about how strange it will be for me to live in my house alone. I am past 40 and have never lived without family, a roommate, or the W. It will be lonely for sure. I say all this because in the balance, this was a great day, I enjoyed myself immensely and spent quality time with people I love, but it wasnt because I was ignoring my sitch. The good just far outweighed the bad, thats all.

Maika, thanks for the words as always. I feel for you with the injuries. I have been there before and it makes life more difficult. Even now, I have been struggling with leg stuff (related in part to driving so much, I think) and it has cut down my ability to exercise and even walk by a big chunk. That is such an important part of my GAL activities, and I think it is probably similar for you. Good luck getting through it.