KML, the psychologist has a PhD and trained with some renowned senior psychologists but still only met my husband for two one-hour sessions so he may not be able to make a diagnosis in such a short time. I wish there could be a more definitive diagnosis. At least it'd help me to be less hurt by my husband's behavior because potentially he's not able to control it without treatment.
I've tried reading a lot about narcissists and sociopaths in the last two years. My husband doesn't quite seem to fit those descriptions. He's good at absorbing criticism and doesn't think too highly of himself since he's normally at the bottom of the class / group in terms of being a physician and also as a new American. He would often say I was smarter or better than him. He tells lies to protect others' feelings but the way he does it is consistent with how the majority of people in his country do it. He could still be a narcissist and I'm just not seeing it but the guy I dated for eight years before my husband had a false sense of grandiosity and callousness for others' feelings that led me to believe he was a narcissist (so I broke it off) whereas my husband in his normal state isn't like that at all. My husband may not have cared about my daughter and for a period of time but he normally is considerate and cares about others' except for when he gets road rage.
I haven't heard of G6PD deficiency but I tried searching it real quick. I know my husband gets neck pain when he's acutely stressed and he's complained of back pain in the past but I'm not sure about the other symptoms. Too bad I'm not in a better position to suggest he get tested. If we ever reconcile or become close enough friends in the future I'll remember this to suggest it. I do know his brother and niece both have moderate or severe anemia of some short, I believe Thalessemia but that's a totally different condition.
There are a lot of non-specific clues. You and others may wonder why I'd ever consider marrying someone like that. The version of my husband that I met in his home country was brave and noble. He was unafraid of Al Queda and supported the US troops and US presence in his country. He worked with Americans knowing the risk to his own life. He went into hospitals and distributed supplies and sometimes would spend his own money to help people who couldn't afford certain drugs or treatment. He would go home from work every day and help his mother who has Parkinson's disease. He was pro-choice and moderate and he was Muslim yet he was interested in Christianity. I don't know. We were just a good fit at that time. He was a handsome guy and helped me to navigate life in a war zone. There were many reasons to believe we had a unique connection. I vetted my husband against a lot of people, met his friends and family, tested him in various ways, and he always passed. Sometimes people just change and we can't anticipate it although I should have known the risk of bringing someone to a whole different culture.
I still wish we could salvage everything we built together as crazy as that sounds, but my husband has to get his own act together before we could even work on the marriage and even then we'd need a lot of third party involvement and years of gradual progress to have anything like a normal marriage.
