Walk Away Spouse after 6 yrs - Part 2

[Nutcrac]

Do not confuse DB detaching with distancing. In your particular situation, I think perhaps your W felt that you were emotionally disconnected.....or distant. Therefore, don't give the impression that you are cold, sullen, or angry. You can talk with her, conduct yourself in a polite, friendly manner. DB detaching means that you mentally detach from the emotional drama. Some H's become obsessed about the W and how to save their MR.......and it takes over their ability to think wisely. If you are too emotionally attached after the bomb drop, you will display unattractive qualities in a man.

Sandi2 - This above quote is an excellent piece of advice. Note that you point out "In your particular situation" and you give a slightly emotional connect based advice. I think apart from your standard 37 rules that you have listed in this forum, you should mention some pointers to LBH where their WAW has simply left due to broken heart situation or depression. From what I understand, Wyoung and I are in very similar situations. Both our wives are upset with their spouses, self destructing and not seeking an affair. Just like Wyong's wife , my wife's love tank has gone empty too and shut down pretty much all lines of communcation. How do we ever emotionally connect to them without us reaching out to them?

Nutcrac, you are one stubborn dude! You are going to keep on until you get the answer you want, aren't you? LOL

The problem is you have no idea of the real reasons your W left. You have words and one of sandi's rules is BELIEVE NOTHING THEY SAY. The WAW RARELY RARELY RARELY says whats true. There are hundreds of reasons why they do this. To let you down easy. To spare your feelings. To make things go away faster. To end the current conversation. Because their culture says you show respect even when you don't want to. ETC ETC ETC

But sandi gave you the answer in the quote: "DB detaching means that you mentally detach from the emotional drama. Some H's become obsessed about the W and how to save their MR.......and it takes over their ability to think wisely. If you are too emotionally attached after the bomb drop, you will display unattractive qualities in a man."

And yes trying to reconnect with a WAW IS unattactive.

Ok I give up. You are right. I dont want to argue on this matter. All i am saying is there has to be some form of a communication connect with the WAW. Else my wife thinks, I have moved on and become emotionally distant. That is not acheived by keeping NC or going dark. Again I want to say communication = limited NC.