Meanwhile 12 Years Later

[DonH]

You ARE a catch Don!

Funny how as I continue to get my MoJo back, I feel like I'm a catch again. More on that in a minute.

I'm playing vibraphone in L.A.with about ten musicians who all played on the album, its like playing in an orchestra. All of them very talented professionals so it keeps my amateur self on my toes.

The best advice I've ever gotten and always try to repeat to others is try to perform with musicians who are better than you are. It pushes you to be better! This is very, very true. I love it when I get to perform with a new band or better players. It totally pushes me to be better - even after going on 40 years of performing. Holy crap - I've been performing live on stage for over 40 years already. How did that happen!!!!

Really want to try to keep this post shorter as I know when they get longer less people read them. But this whole dynamic is so fascinating to me. Dynamic by that I mean, me sort of waking up to dating again.

Totally flirted with one of the waitresses on Friday. She's really too young for me - has to be early 30s but she totally loved the attention and flirted right back. This is not typically me. I'd usually not pay attention just saying "She's way too young for me."

As for Wild Girl, I keep learning more and more and confirming a lot. Our last long conversation was on Thursday evening. Did a few one-off texts on Friday, including when she saw her parents and the first words out of their mouth was "We saw Don last night." She then sent me "Miss you" in a text late Friday night. Now this could have worried me a bit, but oddly enough it did not. I actually liked it, and know her enough to know it was late and she had some drinks and was going to sleep. The next day (Saturday) I was not going to text her but did by accident. Someone else had texted me, I read it on the screen push message but Wild Girl's text was still up when I opened the app so I responded to her by accident. Of course it made no sense so I then had to say, Whoops, sorry, that was not meant for you." So much for not texting her much over the weekend. Funny thing, I mentioned her late night text still being up and that's why it happened, and she answers back "I was drunk - LOL" I then responded "And, the feeling is gone" to which she said "LOL yep!" and then I said, "No, I meant for me." "You smart ass" she then said. That's often how our banter goes. I thought it was well played. LOL Now I totally know what went on - and so do most of you I'll bet. How many times have people here regretted the next morning having sent a text like that. She wanted to minimize any damage, not have me get the wrong idea, etc.

I could sense she was needing a little space and since my plan had been to not contact her anyhow, that's what I did - or did not do for the rest of the weekend. That lasted until Sunday afternoon when she sent me a text. I was still at my last gig for the weekend so didn't answer until three hours later. She immediately said she was headed home and I could call if I felt like talking. LOL. So "cool girl" could only hold out so long. I'm not trying to be too smug at all about this. It's just amazing how much easier it is to read this stuff after being here for many years.

So much for playing it cool... After not much communication for three days including no telephone contact since Thursday, we ended up on the phone for over four hours Sunday evening. We had a few breaks here and there but nearly 4 1/2 hours from about 6:30 PM to about 12:30 AM. Oddly enough I'm still not getting spooked. I still believe that's largely in part to her just trying to play it cool. Of course I see right through most of it and even call her on some of it. But as we talk and talk and talk and talk, things continue to spill out. What this person said, how her BFF returned from vacation and the first thing she asked Wild Girl was "how's Don?" Her D17 again walked in, grabbed the phone and said hello to me. I've never had that happen so naturally - at least I don't think I have. D15 finally did the same. She's much more reserved, quieter. Sort of the personality you need to let them come to you. But she chatted for a minute or so with me as well. D17 is as outgoing as her mom. Both seem like great kids. While I still really wonder how much damage there might be with Wild Girl from past abuse, I have to say she appears to be a really great mom. Those girls come first and appear to be really great kids.

Wild Girl was going to share the 5LL with her BFF who is struggling in her M and somewhat acting the WW or GGW wife. BFF already had the book and was shocked I knew about it. Told Wild Girl she's already read it and is going to borrow it to her. Again, more points for Don. I've now suggested Wild Girl tell BFF to read Divorce Remedy.

She continues to talk with other friends and relatives as well. She's still hung up on the age thing and also thinks I'm just enjoying this "fling with a younger woman." Well, can't lie, I am, but that's not all of it. I again told her how I don't just fall for people and am very slow about moving things forward. I just told her that time will tell but I'll never do anything to intentionally hurt her and will always be honest with her. Still, you can't deny the chemistry that produces over 4 hour conversations on a Sunday evening and lying in bed talking (mostly) for 7 hours a week ago.

She was thrilled when I asked if she wanted to go to a baseball game next Sunday. She's off of work until Thursday and has lots of plans so that will again slow things down - which is again needed. I still have a hunch I may end up seeing her on Wednesday for the 4th but that's just a guess and we have no actual plans. I'll just be about 30 minutes (or less) from where she lives and I wonder if her parents don't try to get her and her girls to go with them to the festival I'll be performing at. Maybe yes, maybe no. Either way it's fine with me as the 4th is always a grueling day performing in a parade and then in the hot sun outside.

Her ex BF is clearly now aware of me and has been contacting her. Clearly an unhealthy draw there. She on one hand says she wants nothing to do with him and is so disgusted by how he lied to her about his wife - who is now still pregnant - and will never have the chance to hurt her again. Yet, she is still answering his texts. Even her daughters tell her "just block him mom" yet... It's things like this that make me wonder how damaged she is. She's admitted so many times already how she is learning so much from me. How I'm so unlike any other guy she's dated. Ooops, yeah, she HATES the word date or dating. We are just "hanging out." She's trying to say it's just about having fun and enjoying the sex with me. Which is all I really want at this point to be honest. Yet I know it's already a little deeper than that - on both ends.

Finally, I'm also finding out Wild Girl is not quite as wild as I thought or she lets on. To be sure, she is with me. Let's just say some of my assumptions have not been accurate with her really admonishing me for a few of them when I admitted what I thought was the case.

I just hope things continue like they are for a good while yet. No need to wreck a good thing by getting clingy, overly emotional or falling too soon. Have I met what I've been hoping to meet? Or will her facade crack as time goes on and she admits her true feelings. I guess if I really do think about it, the 13 year age difference coupled with her past abuse, etc. makes a long term R less likely. Thing is, I'm not really thinking much about that at all - very new for me. I'm just enjoying what's going on now and will worry about the future later. I've not even asked her to go on the cruise with me yet - so not even thinking past the end of the year at this point. Heck, I'm good through next Sunday or more than likely Monday since I'm rather sure she will stay over again. Beyond that, only time will tell. Check back as this all continues to unfold.