Do not confuse DB detaching with distancing. In your particular situation, I think perhaps your W felt that you were emotionally disconnected.....or distant. Therefore, don't give the impression that you are cold, sullen, or angry. You can talk with her, conduct yourself in a polite, friendly manner. DB detaching means that you mentally detach from the emotional drama. Some H's become obsessed about the W and how to save their MR.......and it takes over their ability to think wisely. If you are too emotionally attached after the bomb drop, you will display unattractive qualities in a man.
THIS!!!!!!
Nutcrac, please note this. You have been misquoting sandi in your own thread (I'll even go so far as to say misrepresenting what sandi says). You were DISTANT FROM YOUR WIFE, that doesn't mean that detachment, and not pressuring or pursuing her won't work.
Wyoung please learn from these WISE WISE words from sandi.
Yes Steve85. This is exactly what I am trying to acheive with my wife as well. When I meant to come out of Dark, this was what i intended to achieve. The initial days, my wife was too angry with me. Now at least she is approachable although still has too much anger in her. I did not misquote. May be my interpretation was different and wasn't conveyed right i guess.
M(35) F(35) T(6) M(6) BD 10/25/2017 S 3/12/2018 LRT 4/3 D Served 4/30 D Signed (Me) 5/1 D filed with Court 5/21 D Final 7/6 Moving on with life and doing lot of GAL since 7/6 :-)
