Thanks AS. Yes you're right - I was pushing to file if I meant moving on with things, and getting her out. I also decided doing so might get the process moving but as I would be the one filing, I would be in control and could pull it any time if, by some miracle, we both felt we wanted to try to recon. As you can see from my posts, I think she is too far gone for that and has been for some time, and her treatment of me through all this has made me feel similar tbh. But I guess you never know.
And thanks for your anecdote regarding you XW moving out. You're right - I absolutely do not want to move out, and won't for all the reasons you state and more. But I also know my W is not going to agree to do so either. I can say to her what you said to your ex, but she'll just say ok, she'll stay and then not work on anything. I'm going to have one more go at getting her to leave, and then I'm just going to have to live with it. And then never forgive her for putting me and the kids through this when we're done.
She and I are supposed to be having a chat this evening. I will remain business like, unemotional and make it clear that if she had any decency she would move out. She won't. But I can only try.
Keep you posted..
_______________________________________________ M47 W50 T-21 yrs M-19 Yrs S17 S15 D12 Found out about A 04/12/18 BD 04/15/18 Admitted A, name of AP and separate rooms 04/29/18 Told kids 07/22/18
